


A Minor Inconvenience

by OrangeOctopi7



Series: OrangeOctopi's Stanuary 2019 works [3]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill is still around but he's not nearly the threat he used to be, Dreams, Gen, I may revisit this idea later, I wrote most of this while I was on my mission but never finished it until now, Sea Grunks, Stanuary 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 07:50:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17463512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrangeOctopi7/pseuds/OrangeOctopi7
Summary: Stanuary Week 3 is Dreams, so I dusted off a little ficlet I stated on my mission and never finished. I think it fits with the theme.Inspired by this comic: http://tateratots.tumblr.com/post/144146684592/so-what-if-stan-gains-some-of-bills-powers-and-it





	A Minor Inconvenience

 

It had been a long time since they’d started their journey. They didn’t think there was anything to worry about anymore. They’d left the nightmare that was the end of last summer behind. They both still had actual nightmares, of course, but that was nothing new, really. Sure, some of Stan’s were a little too real, a little too different from the rest, but he shrugged it off. What was ‘normal’ to a dream, anyway? So they sailed along, going about their business, until the fact that something was up became undeniable.

 

The night had started off normally enough, with the twin brothers playing a game of Egyptian Rat Slap. Stan, deciding that a stinging red welt on the back of the loser’s hand wasn’t prize enough, proposed a wager.

 

“Loser does the winner’s chores for a week.” He said.

 

Ford contemplated the offer for a moment.

 

“Including dish duty?” The old scientist asked.

 

“Well yeah, what other chores are there? You’ve got nerd gadgets rigged up to do everything else on this boat.”

 

“Not  _ everything _ . There’s still cleaning and maintaining said gadgets, not to mention the bathroom and--”

 

“Hey we can go over the details and junk later, have we got a deal or not?”

 

“Alright, it’s a deal.”  Ford said, extending his arm to shake on it.

 

“Deal!” Stan agreed, extending his own hand. Only something was wrong. It was enshrouded in blue flames.

 

Ford jerked back with a yelp, while Stan just stared in bewilderment as the flames died away.

 

“What the heck was  _ that _ ?” Stan wondered, looking to his brother for an answer as he often did when they ran into paranormal shenanigans on their voyage. Only Ford wasn’t standing there taking notes with an excited grin as he usually did. He was backed up against the wall, watching his brother cautiously.

 

“Uh, Ford, you ok?”

 

“Stanley?” Ford asked warily, unsure of who he was really talking to.

 

This was lost on Stan. “Uh, I’m good. Didn’t get burned somehow.”

 

Ford moved so he was between Stan and the exit and pulled out his penlight. “Come here.” he demanded curtly.

 

It took Stan a few seconds to realize what his brother was getting at, but he sighed in exasperation the moment it dawned on him. “Seriously? I’m not--” But it looked as though Ford would check by force if necessary. Stan stepped over, his hands in the air placatingly, and let Ford shine the light in his eyes, searching for the tell-tale yellow. But the scientist couldn’t find anything; Stan’s eyes were their usual earthy brown color.

 

“There, you feel better now?” Stan asked, rubbing his eyes.

 

“This doesn’t make any sense…” Ford murmured to himself, then noticed his brother’s discomfort. “Stan, I’m sorry.”

 

“Yeah, you’d better be, I’ve got a headache now.”

 

Ford still looked troubled.

 

“Hey, don’t worry.” Stan comforted his brother, “Bill’s gone, we killed him, remember?”

 

“Yes,  _ I  _ remember, but _ you _ shouldn’t! I’m glad that you recovered, yes, more than I’ve been about anything, but if your memories weren’t completely erased, how can we be sure Bill was? What else could explain what just happened?”

 

“I dunno, something else?” Stan shrugged. “There’s gotta be other things that make blue fire, right?”

 

Ford looked ready to launch into a lengthy explanation of exactly how many other things make blue fire and why none of them fit this situation.

 

“I just don’t want you to fall into that same crazed paranoia I found you in before… you know….”

 

Ford shifted his gaze, ashamed, “I’ll never let that happen again.”

 

“Neither will I.” Stan promised him.

 

“Then will you let me do one more thing to ease my suspicions?” 

 

Stan groaned. “It doesn’t involve getting hooked up to some of your science junk, does it?”

 

“No, in fact it involves you going to bed early.” Ford assured him.

 

“I like the sound of that.”

  
  
  
  


Stan was usually the first to fall asleep and the last to wake up on top of being a frequent napper. Yet he had a hard time falling asleep on demand. Ford watching him didn’t help.

 

“Could you find something else to do while I’m trying to fall asleep?” The old con man asked irritably, “I can’t relax with you here.”

 

“I’m usually here when you sleep.” Ford pointed out.

 

“Yeah, in the other hammock, not staring me down like some hungry owl!”

 

“Well I’m not leaving you alone until I figure out what caused that phenomenon earlier!”

 

“Y’mean my hand catching fire.”

 

Ford sighed and pulled out a large textbook.

 

“You wouldn’t dare.” Stan gasped, trying to call his brother’s bluff.

 

“Transition State Theory made a breakthrough in the early 30’s when three independent researchers, Eyring, Polanyi, and Evans, each derived the same equation based on the assumption that activated components are in quasi-equilibrium with the reactants, and thus can be described with a classical thermodynamic treatment.”

 

“You play dirty.” Stan grumbled through a yawn.

 

“This is not always true, as has been shown in semiconductors and insulators where the initial excited state may exceed the energy of the saddle point. However, where Potential Energy Surfaces are concerned, the equation is viable, and is thus derived. Consider the reaction…” Before Ford had finished the first step, Stan was asleep.

 

Ford put his book down and quickly pulled out candles for the spell. Once they were all lit, he recited the incantation to enter into the dreamscape.

 

The old researcher didn’t know exactly what he expected to find in his brother’s mind. He’d heard Mabel, Dipper, and Soos recount how they entered Stan’s mind to chase Bill earlier last summer, but he hadn’t expected to see the same thing tonight. Minds were transient, constantly changing as personal experiences added to the mental landscape. Stan had been through enough in the few months since then to completely change the face of him mindscape many times over.

 

Still, whatever Ford had or hadn’t expected, it wasn’t this.

 

He stood on the deck of a ship, at once like their own and yet infinitely bigger and grander. It sailed on a dark, foreboding sea, and a large fishing net was currently dropped over the side, trawling for what, Ford could only guess. Strewn about the deck were many treasure chests of all shapes and sizes. Stray thoughts flew about like seagulls overhead.

 

_ I’m gonna get him for that book trick _ . Ford heard one call. He couldn’t help by smirk.

 

_ Don’t get so smug, Poindexter, you’re on my turf now!  _ Another thought sounded overhead.

 

Ford’s smirk switched to a look of surprise. Stan’s mindscape seemed to be aware of his presence. He decided to try a little experiment and walked over to the net to examine it. 

 

“I wonder what this does?” He said aloud. Immediately a pulley started to bring it up from the depths. A few small chests were tangled inside. Ford reached up and pulled the net over the deck, emptying the catch out at his feet. He picked up the smallest chest and, unable to resist his curiosity, opened it.

 

The inside was like a tiny window into another time and place. He saw a slightly younger Stan and a much younger Soos.

 

_ “Who the heck’s that brat tearing up my dirt parking lot with his mountain bike?” Stan asked. _

 

_ “Oh, that’s my cousin Reggie.” Soos replied. _

 

_ “Would you care if I shot rock-salt at him?”  _

 

Ford closed the lid and put the chest down. “So they’re memories.”

 

_ You coulda just asked, genius. _

And 

_ Gotta tell Soos I remembered his bratty cousin’s name.  _

Called out from the seagulls above.

 

“I must say, Stan, I’m impressed by how aware you are of everything here.” Ford complimented him.

 

The seagulls cawed out stray thoughts proudly, mostly falsely modest acceptance of the praise. 

 

“You know why I’m here. Can you help me find Bill, or whatever caused that phenomenon earlier?”

 

The gulls’ cawing became more nervous. 

 

_ No Bill here!  _

_ I have no idea what’s going on!  _

_ Just dreams, nothing to worry about.  _

_ It’s probably nothing.  _

_ I don’t want him to worry. _

 

Ford’s expression hardened. “What dreams?”

 

Then he saw it, out of the corner of his eye, a little wedge of yellow no larger than a cornchip, wiggling out from the confines of the net he’d just pulled up and scrambling across the deck. Ford sprang into action and pounced on it just as it reached the corner of the cabin. 

 

“You!” He cried angrily, trapping the tiny triangle beneath his sizable hand, “I knew it had to be you!”

 

Then another, slender, black,  _ inhuman _ hand grabbed onto the tiny triangle and plucked it from his grasp.

 

“I’LL TAKE THAT, SIXER.” Bill said.

 

To say Bill looked worse for wear was an understatement. The triangle was missing several of the bricks from his pyramid-esque form. Ford watched the piece he had caught scurry up and take its place at the apex.

 

_ Oh how the mighty have fallen.  _ He couldn’t help but think.

 

“I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU’D FIGURE OUT I WAS STILL HERE.” Bill said.

 

“How did you survive the memory erasure!?” Ford demanded, cutting straight to the chase.

 

Bill laughed sardonically. “AHAHAHAHAHAHA!  _ SURVIVE _ ?  **I WAS SHATTERED INTO PIECES, AND THEN EVERY PIECE BURNED UNTIL NOT EVEN ASHES REMAINED!!** ” The triangle yelled, suddenly glowing an intense blue. “LUCKILY I KNOW A GUY IN THE DEATH BUSINESS, SO I ASKED FOR A FAVOR. AND BOY, IT IS JUST LIKE XOLOTL TO CHEAP OUT ON ME AND ONLY RESTORE ME TO THIS PITIFUL STATE.”

 

“I don’t care what sort of state you’re in, get out of my brother’s mind now, or I’ll--”

 

“OR YOU’LL WHAT, IQ?” Bill mocked. “YOU ALREADY DESTROYED YOUR LAST WEAPON AGAINST ME!”

 

But Ford recalled Stan’s story about his confrontation with Bill, and one of the last things Stan remembered doing. 

 

“I don’t need a weapon.” The scientist said defiantly, dealing a powerful straight-armed punch to the dream-demon. Bill shattered again into dozens of tiny bricks. The seagulls above cawed excitedly and dove down onto the deck, pecking at the little pieces as they scattered.

 

“SHATTER ME ALL YOU WANT!” Bill’s voice echoed from every piece. “I’LL JUST PULL MYSELF BACK TOGETHER LIKE I DID BEFORE!” 

 

The screaming was silenced as the gulls scooped up the pieces and dropped them back over the side, into the dark water of the ocean.

 

Ford watched the gold flecks disappear beneath the waves and into the abyss. Bill’s last cry still left an unsettling lump in his gut. If the demon had come back before, what was to stop him from doing it again? What permanent solution could there be?

  
  
  


Ford awoke first. He was back on his feet in an instant, shaking his brother awake.

 

“Uhg… I just had the weirdest dream. You were up on deck fightin’ Bill, and there were seagulls  _ everywhere _ … and Soos’s  _ cousin _ was there for some reason?”

 

Ford looked at his brother like a doctor about to give an awful diagnosis. 

 

“It wasn’t a dream, was it?”

 

“Well, technically it  _ was  _ a dream, but it was real.”

 

Stan thought he’d feel better if he  _ had _ just found out he had a terminal illness.

 

“So… that  _ thing _ … really is still in my head?”

 

Ford nodded grimly.

 

“What’re we gonna  _ do _ ?”

 

“I’m not sure yet.” Was all Ford could reply. He plopped down on the hammock next to Stan, and they both sat in silence for a few moments. “What’ll we tell the kids?” Stanford finally asked his own question.

 

“I don’t think we should tell ‘em, not yet anyway.” Stan replied.

 

“They have a right to know, Stan. They’re just as involved with this as we are.”

 

“I don’t want ‘em to worry about it, especially if we don’t have all the facts yet.”

 

“They might be able to help us. They’ve done well handling Bill on their own in the past.”

 

“They’re just _ kids _ , Stanford!” Stan yelled, “They shouldn’t have to handle Bill at  _ all! _ They should be free to enjoy being young while they still can!”

 

“Well, ideally, yes, but we’re not dealing with ideal circumstances here!” Ford argued. “This goes beyond our family; if Bill could return we’ll have the whole multiverse to consider!”

 

“Well you don’t know that it’s that bad yet, genius!” Stan shot back, “It’s been months, and this is the first time anything has happened. For all we know he could just be a minor inconvenience! And until we  _ do _ find out just how bad it is, I don’t want to worry the kids about it!” 

 

Ford couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “A minor inconvenience!? This is Bill Cipher we’re talking about! The extradimensional being who nearly brought time and space to an end! Master of the Nightmare Realm, feared throughout the multiverse!”

 

“Yeah, and now he’s a pathetic pile of poo that can’t even pull himself together without my mind pulling him apart again!” 

 

“This time, yes, but how can we know he won’t pull himself together again? What will he be capable of if he gets more of himself together?”

 

“This time  _ and _ every time he’s tried it so far!”

 

“What!?” Ford asked in shock. “What do you mean every time? This has happened before!?”

 

Stan’s face fell, as though he’d just said something he wasn’t supposed to. “I… ok I’m not really sure, but… maybe?”

 

“Maybe isn’t good enough, Stanley!” Ford shouted, “Not where Bill’s involved! What if he does something to hurt you?”

 

Stan sighed in frustration, “I’ve had these kinda dreams before, ok?”

 

Ford’s anger abated just a bit. He’d heard something about dreams in Stan’s mindscape.

 

“You’ve been having dreams about Bill?”

 

“I didn’t  _ know _ it was him until just now.” Stan explained. “I’d just have dreams where there were pieces of gold, or corn chip crumbs, or LEGOs scattered all over the deck, and they’d start gathering themselves up. But they never got far before seagulls or crabs or gnomes or something threw them back into the sea. I never really figured out what it meant until you were there and started fighting him.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” 

 

“I told you, I didn’t know it was Bill. I didn’t know it was important… and I didn’t want you to worry.”

 

Ford’s first instinct was to be mad. Stan had been withholding important information and now his worst nightmare was becoming a reality. But he had learned over the past few months that his first reactions of anger never led to anything good. He had to stop and look at things from Stan’s perspective. His brother really hadn’t known, and certainly hadn’t meant any harm.

 

“Can you tell me any time you have this dream again?” Ford asked.

 

“Of course I will, what do you take me for?” 

 

A hysterical little laugh bubbled it’s way out of Ford unbidden. “I-I’m sorry. Sorry. I don’t mean to be so… difficult about this. I know it can’t be easy for you either. That demon’s in  _ your _ head after all. It’s just… Stanley, this terrifies me!”

 

To be perfectly honest, it terrified Stan too. But he knew he had to be strong for Ford’s sake right now. Couldn’t have them both breaking down. And what’s more, now that he knew little bits of Bill were floating around in his mind, he couldn’t show any weakness.

 

“Yeah, of course it does. I’d be more worried if it didn’t.” Stan agreed, “But we’re gonna get through this together, ok? I got him under control for now, right? We just need to make sure it stays that way and find some way to get him out.”

 

Ford nodded. It sounded so simple and logical when Stan put it like that. He could work with simple and logical.

 

“In that case, we’ve got a lot of research to do!”


End file.
